Dreams, Future, Anxiety

Hello there, how've you been? Hope you're all doing great

I decided to write on this topic because : a. hypophrenia ( define that urself ;) )

                                                              b. i can't sleep

                                                              c. people around me start to bring out plans for their future 

Uhm, point C. Somehow i was inspired by them, by their tenacity to achieve their dreams. I remembered how their eyes were blinking when they started talking about their future. How are they gonna carry out their plan, etc. They think about their dreams, they talk to some people about it, they tell people how much struggles they've gone through to achieve it. It makes me wonder, they have such a big dream and they're on the way to achieve it, what about me, what about myself? *finger-crossed*

Introduction. Well, the boring part. We all have dreams, beside the dreams you have when you're sleeping. Dream here, based on definition in Merriam Webster dictionary, is defined as a strongly desired goal or purpose. Goal. Yes, we do have some goals in life. What's a goal? Based on the Merriam Webster dictionary again, goal is defined as the end toward which effort is directed. It means that, goal is the' final destination' while you're exerting an effort towards something. Underline the effort. Effort means that hard work requiring time and serious attempt. Hard work. Time. Serious attempt. Three big things, but the order is a lil bit mixed up

For me, the order would be serious attempt, hardwork, and time. Well, serious attempt. Underline serious. Serious means requiring much thought of work, relating the matter of importance. Yes, importance. You tend to be serious, you put so much thought, and you'll do your best on something, that's important to you. Am i correct? The key thing here is important. If that thing is really important to you, you'll get serious without being told. So, this is a matter of mindset. Keep into your mind that " I am doing something that's important to me". Feel it though, that it really is important to you. And when that happens, your mind tends to process that 'Yes, that thing is significant to me, so it'll have an effect on me and bring the good to myself." Thus, your subconscious mind would ask you to do the rest; give out your best shot and be serious in it.

Okay, the mind factor is done. Now comes to the hardest part. Yes it is always hard when it comes to hardwork. Hardwork, is more like an implementation of what you're mind is thinking and wants you to do. Of course i do believe that your mind knows that you've got to study seriously like nerd if you want to get a GPA 4 out of 4, you've got to be painstakingly writing out the memorials for the mootcourt to win that, even if you're crying when you're doing it.It's all about implementation. Action. The things that we and the others can see, physically. It means 0 if you have such a great mindset but you don't take actions to make things happen. It's really nothing even though you have a brilliant idea but you can't carry it out into actions. Even in the Bibles there are one saying that really strikes the bone. James 2:14 'What is it good my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?' Well it's really true. We have to do the so called deeds. To put it simply, take action. For example, a scientist proposes a really brilliant idea. It's just the idea, but if you want your idea to be recognized, you've got to do something about it, like doing some research, conduct projects about that. Yea, no matter what you do, you'll always end up taking actions after dwelling on your own broad or little mind. And, uh oh don't forget the hard part. Hard-work. It means that you're studious, diligent. A person who's studious, he studies a lot. Does he suffer from that? Well nope, if he is, he might just stop studying. A forced person, even though who studies a lot, cant be considered a studious, because he is forced. So, the whole thing means that, you have to like studying. Simply put that, you've gotta like what you do. If you like what you're doing, automatically you'll be serious, you'll put much effort, and thus, you'll work hard ;)

Okaayy, third one finally. Time. Well, the 1st and second, they're about mind and actions, but don't forget the feelings is important too. We must be patient for the outcome, for the success. Don't expect instant outcome. Don't expect that you'll get a straight A by just studying for a day. Don't expect that you'll run 100meters on 10 seconds if you just train by few days. It takes times. Time equals to patience. Patience, yea, keep what you're doing, believe that you'll do great, it's just a matter of time. No matter how long it is, if you're serious, if you're hardworking, you'll ace what you do, no matter what is it, how hard and impossible it is.

Uhm well, i guess that are what we need to chase our dreams, oh yes, don't forget prayer! The power of prayer is extremely important. Yes faith without deeds is equal zero but deeds without prayers will make you end up with nothing. Pray to the Lord, about your dreams. Just tell Him, what you're feeling, what difficulties that you encounter. The Lord hasn't promised that the skies always blue, God hasn't promised the sun without rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain. But the Lord has promised strength for the day to keep you be optimistic and chase on your dream. The Lord has promised rest for the labor, for you who has worked hard, and light for the way, when you feel that your future is blurry. The Lord has promised grace for the trials, if you're tried so many times and you're confused about what to do. Ask Him for His grace. And last, He'll give you His unfailing sympathy and undying love. Yes, He sympathizes you, who's experiencing trials in love. He consoles you and encourages you and He'll love you forever and ever as He's giving His undying love for us :)

Sometimes, we're surrounded by anxiety. We live a life full of anxiety, for example: What if the result turns bad? What will I do if i don't get accepted to the university i want? What will my boss do if i didn't meet this month's expectation? And the list goes on. Yes, it's normal to be anxious but don't let the anxiety consume you. Don't overthink the situation. Believe me, you're just dwelling in your mind, thinking bout things that's not 100% true and it will ruin your mood, your situation, your attitude. Don't. Instead, just surrender all things to the Lord. Thy will be done. Even though it may not seem good for you at that moment, it's beneficial for several years down the road. We'll never know. Talk about the long term outcome, okay? We'll never know ;) Don't just see it from one-sided perspective :) Well, i can say those things because I experienced that same thing just 2 years ago. It was a really great experience for me. At first, i was furious because things wouldn't turn the way I wanted them to be. However after deep thoughts and self-reflection, i am thankful now that i'm here. Really. Can't really describe them by words. You've gotta feel that yourself. Say to God, "Lord I surrender. Tell me that Your plans are better than my dreams :)"

Sooo okay, think i'm done with the whole new post. Good luck, bone chance to y'all out there! :)

The 5 Love Language

Hello guys! It's already 0.34am 10th of February ( timezone : Jakarta +7 ). Happy Chinese Lunar New Year to those who celebrate it, may peace and prosperity be upon you! :)

Well, i just realized that it's less than 4 days until Valentine's day. To all singles, be prepared to watch all those happy couples being lovey dovey, your dad might place a bouquet of white roses and leave before your mom goes out from the bedroom, cute chocolates sold everywhere and here we are wondering: 'The hell with chocolate, i'm not getting any anyway.' or 'At least on Valentine's day, my cash won't be robbed away by that cliche things like roses, chocolates, or romantic fine dining.' Well, to all singles out there, don't worry i've been quite lonely on Valentine's day during 18years of my life. I know how you all feel, let's high five! 

And to those happy go lucky, on the edge of breaking up ( all the best! ) couple, all guys that are counting days, waiting to confess to the girl that finally steal your devotion and all the girls who are waiting to be confessed to, be happy because at least you have someone special to celebrate Valentine's day with. You have someone to waste your emotions to, you have someone to lay your love on. At least be happy, you're lucky enough! ;) Erm talks about Valentines day again, some of you might wonder about the best gift you can give your partner, what pick up lines you should use to do the confession thingy, how to spend that one day so that moment spent with your loved ones could become memorable, etcetera.

Maybe, if you're searching and pondering about what could be the best gift you can give to you're partner, do you mind think back again? Well, not all people are comfortable with gifts, they may think that just a hug would suffice. Then, if you're thinking what pick up lines you should while confessing, think back again, does the girl can be courted with only sweet words sprouted from your mouth? They might think that a simple 'i love you' with a bouquet of flower would be super romantic. And if you're pursuing an LDR, of course you might think about how to spend Valentine's day with your far-away sweetheart? 

Actually, few days ago my friend mentioned about the '5 Love Language' thing, then my curiosity did the rest. I did some readings on that, and found that basically in relationships we love our partner how we want them to love us and not the way they actually need to be loved. That's why there are quite much miscommunication during the relationship period as we, people come in all varieties, traits, so do their choices of personal expression of love. Also, all people are created unique, they are made up of million beautiful little things that made them, them. We are all individuals with different personalities and ways of thinking, have gone through the ups and downs and experienced different aspects of life.

Despite all the differences, truth to be told, all people want to be loved. every one of us has a preference for what makes us feel most loved. However, when they are receiving the wrong type of love we can often start to feel empty and unwanted. They might think that their partner don't understand them, and there begins the conflict of interest.

Here's one example to show:

Seldom a couple have the same way to express their love; that's called by primary love language. Of course as individual, they tend to speak their primary love language and if both couple have differences in their primary love language, it's undeniable that they become confused when their spouse doesn’t understand what they’re communicating. It's quite a big deal actually. Try to identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, then you’ll have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving relationship.

However, you might now think that speaking your partner's love language is not natural for you, it's something that's somehow forced. Dr. Gary Chapman ( author of the '5 Love Language' book ) says, "We're not talking comfort. We're talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren't connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn't enough"

 *i do apologize sincerely for all the useless babbles out there - *mouth zipped* *

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGE
http://www.iacac.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/D31-I-Hate-Your-Job-The-5-Love-Languages.pdf

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language,  unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.*

Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love

Encouragement : All of us have areas in which we feel insecure. We lack courage, which often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to do. Perhaps you or your partner has untapped potential in one or more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting encouraging words from you or from him. One words of encouragement spitted, who knows it might change your world?

Kind words: If people are to communicate love verbally, they must use kind words. That has to do with the way they are spoken. The statement “I love you”, when said with kindness and tenderness, can be a genuine expression of love. Also when a guy’s saying ‘i miss you’ over the phone when you they are apart in distance could means the world to the girl

Humble words: Love makes requests, not demands. Relationship is about give and take. If we’re to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires. Try to use humble words when speaking to your partners sometimes.

By the way, as i have realized, the words of affirmation is the most suitable love language for LDR couples. Well, when two people are separated by miles or even worse, timezones; they don’t have much time spent together, of course they miss each other but they can’t see each other physically, also let’s say when the girl’s having problem, the guy can’t just come over to the girl’s place and help her. However, he could give her some words of encouragement, advice, or console her whenever she’s sad. Reassuring her that everything’s gonna be alright by those humble words could calm her for periods of time. You don’t have to be a sweet talker or a casanova- spitting out anything that pops into your mind will do. Just be honest and sincere when conveying those words. Well, based on that explanations above, power of words are quite magnificent i shall say.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.*

This means giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean being together all the time. What I mean is doing something, just the two of you, like going out to eat, taking a stroll in a park, and looking at each other while talking. Time is a strong communicator of love. One of the most common is that of quality conversation – two individuals sharing their thoughts and feelings. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person’s desires. Try to treasure the time you spent together.

‘Quality Time’, as we can see here, what matters the most is the quality of the time you spent together. Is it really worth it, despite the limited time you two have? I do personally feel, even though one couple have all day long to spend with their love ons but the sparks aren’t there, the moments just go like that and there’s nothing special and it’s repeated day by day. Doesn’t it become mundane and boring? Then, how about, this 2nd case while a couple doing something that they love, but they really treasure that moment, even though the time spent is only 1 or 2 hours. You don’t have to try to always be there for your spouse, remember the quality, not the quantity. Also, sometimes absence makes the heart grows fonder ;)

                        

Well, for lovers who are separated miles away, here’s the main problem: You cannot see your partners physically. However, don’t you ever think that if you’re having a long distance relationship, you can’t have your quality time. You can, depending on how you create that moment. For example: When you two are in skype, try listening to your favorite music together or *uhm* do some karaoke via skype eh(?), tell others everything random that pops up into your mind or maybe telling them about your activity through whole day will do. No matter how ridiculous or insane your conversation is, the more alive conversation you have, the better. It may be uncospicious, however you have already created a quite good memorable moment. And to those lucky ones who can see their partners everytime they want, here are some tips, if your partner’s primary love language is quality time. - Maintain eye contact when your partner’s talking - Listen, and read through the emotion that they’re feeling. They will truly appreciate it - Observe body language - Refuse to interrupt. Just sit there and listen to their sayings can be called a consolation too. - Say something about yourself too. Reveal yourself, open up yourself to your partner, so they feel that they’re loved too!

Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures

Love is not about what others can give you because you’re empty, it is about what you can give others because you’re already full. Gift can be seen as a physical symbol of love. A gift is something you can see, hold in your hand and say, “I cross his mind” or, “She’s thinking of me.” A gift is a symbol of that thought. Gifts come in all sizes, colours and shapes. Some are expensive and others are free. To the individual whose primary love language is receiving gifts, the cost will matter little.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.*

People who speak this love language seek to please their partners by serving them; to express their love for them by doing things for them. Actions such as cooking a meal, setting a table, washing the dishes, sorting the bills, walking the dog or dealing with landlords are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love. I’m not saying become a doormat to your partner and do these things out of guilt or resentment. No person should ever be a doormat. Do these things as a lover.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.*

Holding hands, kissing, hugging – all of these are lifelines for the person for whom physical touch is the primary love language. With it, they feel secure in their partner’s love. “Love touches” don’t take much time, but they do require a little thought, especially if this isn’t your primary love language or you didn’t grow up in a “touching” family. Sitting close to each other as you watch TV requires no additional time, but communicates your love loudly. Touching each other when you leave the house and when you return may involve only a brief kiss, but speaks volumes.

Well, that’s all about the 5 language of love. If you wanna know what your partner and your dominant love language is, click here to take the test.

Mind telling me what is it? ;)

Well, for lovers who are separated miles away, here’s the main problem: You cannot see your partners physically. However, don’t you ever think that if you’re having a long distance relationship, you can’t have your quality time. You can, depending on how you create that moment. For example: When you two are in skype, try listening to your favorite music together or *uhm* do some karaoke via skype eh(?), tell others everything random that pops up into your mind or maybe telling them about your activity through whole day will do. No matter how ridiculous or insane your conversation is, the more alive conversation you have, the better. It may be uncospicious, however you have already created a quite good memorable moment. And to those lucky ones who can see their partners everytime they want, here are some tips, if your partner’s primary love language is quality time. - Maintain eye contact when your partner’s talking - Listen, and read through the emotion that they’re feeling. They will truly appreciate it - Observe body language - Refuse to interrupt. Just sit there and listen to their sayings can be called a consolation too. - Say something about yourself too. Reveal yourself, open up yourself to your partner, so they feel that they’re loved too!

Biggest Sympathizer

Hello guys. Here i am again, working on my translation for the video meeting next week. Hope that i could finish that all before the deadlines!

Sooo basically what i'm doing is listening to the 90 mins video of Brother Andrew in the church of Anaheim, California, preaching about 'Message 10 of Crystallization of the Book of Zechariah'. It's a deep, meaningful message anyway, and suddenly i'm moved to share some enjoyment that I got from his sharing.

The Book of Zechariah consists of 2 parts, where the 1st part ( chapter 1-6 ) talks about vision, not an ordinary vision, but a vision of consolation. Then the second part ( chapter 9-14 ) that talks about prophecy, prophecy of encouragement.

The vision mentioned from chapter 1-6, is commonly for the children of Israel. However, the prophecy mentioned in chapter 9-14 is about encouragement. Without Christ, there will be no consolation, no encouragement. However, Christ is not only consolation and encouragement with the Jewish people in their suffering, but He's their suffering companion.

Well, we might be a joyous, sincere people in our outer-side, but don't we have suffering?
When you have suffering, what do you need?
Truthfully, all human would say 'I need a companion. I need somebody to sympathize with me. I need somebody to just sit with me' ( uhm maybe this phrase inspired Simple Plan later on in their lyrics in the song, When I'm Gone : .... Misery loves company.... )
You know, Jobs and his 3 friends were good, until they started opening up their mouth. If they just sat there, sympathized with him, that would be wonderful.

Anyway, in our suffering, what do we need the most? We need somebody to sympathize with us. Guess what? Who's the biggest sympathizer? CHRIST.
So, you guys got any sufferings? Just remember you have this real good sympathizer with the sympathize in you.

In Hebrew 4:12 said that 'For we don't have our high priest suit we cannot be touched by the feeling of our weakness. Feeling of our weakness, that's pretty common. However don't worry, in chapter 4:5, Christ gives his compassion to us, the ignorant ones. We have Christ who sympathizes with us, who consoles us and encourages us.

That's what Brother Andrew from the video said and it made me feel touched.

Well, it's true that when we have suffering, we tend to seek sympathy, either from friends, family. Somehow, when we have received their sympathy, we are assured and affirmed that we are okay, we are better than before. However in our deepest place in our heart, there's still a missing piece i don't know what and why, there's still a hole left opened up. Even though we have received enough sympathy, we still ask for more. Well, human nature. So there isn't a complete peace enveloping us.
If you ever feel like that, why don't you try contacting God? Why don't you try calling upon the name of the Lord, opening the veils in your heart, exercise your spirit so that it could touch the Lord so that you can receive His compassion, His grace? When you're down and you let all of your beings being exposed to God, when you surrender completely to Him and let His hands take control of everything? Definitely, you will feel relieved, your burden has been taken away even though there's still some left. You know and feel Him consoles you, encourages you, and walks with you going through the life.
I mean, well, I have experienced this pace of life before. I didn't know what to do, so i just kneeled down, said everything that'd been bugging me, and somehow i knew the Lord understood, He was well i didn't know how to describe it. It was too wonderful to have Lord like that.

So, praise the Lord for his consolation and his encouragement :'')

*uhm i beg thine excuse for non-Christians or Catholics. It's an 'open' blog, open forum, you can read it anyway, if you have some comments you could just post it on the comment box. Thank you before :)*