Hello guys! It's already
0.34am 10th of February ( timezone : Jakarta +7 ). Happy Chinese Lunar New Year
to those who celebrate it, may peace and prosperity be upon you! :)
Well, i just realized
that it's less than 4 days until Valentine's day. To all singles, be prepared
to watch all those happy couples being lovey dovey, your dad might place a
bouquet of white roses and leave before your mom goes out from the bedroom,
cute chocolates sold everywhere and here we are wondering: 'The hell with
chocolate, i'm not getting any anyway.' or 'At least on Valentine's day, my
cash won't be robbed away by that cliche things like roses, chocolates, or
romantic fine dining.' Well, to all singles out there, don't worry i've been
quite lonely on Valentine's day during 18years of my life. I know how you all
feel, let's high five!
And to those happy go
lucky, on the edge of breaking up ( all the best! ) couple, all guys that are
counting days, waiting to confess to the girl that finally steal your devotion
and all the girls who are waiting to be confessed to, be happy because at least
you have someone special to celebrate Valentine's day with. You have someone to
waste your emotions to, you have someone to lay your love on. At least be
happy, you're lucky enough! ;) Erm talks about Valentines day again, some of
you might wonder about the best gift you can give your partner, what pick up lines
you should use to do the confession thingy, how to spend that one day so that
moment spent with your loved ones could become memorable, etcetera.
Maybe, if you're
searching and pondering about what could be the best gift you can give to
you're partner, do you mind think back again? Well, not all people are
comfortable with gifts, they may think that just a hug would suffice. Then, if
you're thinking what pick up lines you should while confessing, think back
again, does the girl can be courted with only sweet words sprouted from your
mouth? They might think that a simple 'i love you' with a bouquet of flower
would be super romantic. And if you're pursuing an LDR, of course you might
think about how to spend Valentine's day with your far-away sweetheart?
Actually, few days ago
my friend mentioned about the '5 Love Language' thing, then my curiosity did
the rest. I did some readings on that, and found that basically in
relationships we love our partner how we want them to love us and not the way
they actually need to be loved. That's why there are quite much
miscommunication during the relationship period as we, people come in all
varieties, traits, so do their choices of personal expression of love. Also,
all people are created unique, they are made up of million beautiful little
things that made them, them. We are all individuals with different
personalities and ways of thinking, have gone through the ups and downs and
experienced different aspects of life.
Despite all the
differences, truth to be told, all people want to be loved. every one of us has
a preference for what makes us feel most loved. However, when they are
receiving the wrong type of love we can often start to feel empty and unwanted.
They might think that their partner don't understand them, and there begins the
conflict of interest.
Here's one example to
show:
Seldom a couple have the same way to express their love; that's called by primary love language. Of course as individual, they tend to speak their primary love language and if both couple have differences in their primary love language, it's undeniable that they become confused when their spouse doesn’t understand what they’re communicating. It's quite a big deal actually. Try to identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, then you’ll have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving relationship.
However, you might now think that speaking your partner's love language is not natural for you, it's something that's somehow forced. Dr. Gary Chapman ( author of the '5 Love Language' book ) says, "We're not talking comfort. We're talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren't connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn't enough"
However, you might now think that speaking your partner's love language is not natural for you, it's something that's somehow forced. Dr. Gary Chapman ( author of the '5 Love Language' book ) says, "We're not talking comfort. We're talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren't connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn't enough"
THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGE
http://www.iacac.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/D31-I-Hate-Your-Job-The-5-Love-Languages.pdf
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WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the
words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends
your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily
forgotten.*
Verbal compliments or words of
appreciation are powerful communicators of love
Encouragement : All of us have areas in which we feel insecure. We lack courage, which
often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to
do. Perhaps you or your partner has untapped potential in one or more areas of
life. That potential may be awaiting encouraging words from you or from him.
One words of encouragement spitted, who knows it might change your world?
Kind words: If people are to communicate love verbally, they must use kind words. That
has to do with the way they are spoken. The statement “I love you”, when said
with kindness and tenderness, can be a genuine expression of love. Also when a
guy’s saying ‘i miss you’ over the phone when you they are apart in distance
could means the world to the girl
Humble words: Love makes requests, not demands. Relationship is about give and take. If
we’re to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s
desires. Try to use humble words when speaking to your partners sometimes.
By the way, as i have realized, the words of affirmation is the most suitable love language for LDR couples. Well, when two people are separated by miles or even worse, timezones; they don’t have much time spent together, of course they miss each other but they can’t see each other physically, also let’s say when the girl’s having problem, the guy can’t just come over to the girl’s place and help her. However, he could give her some words of encouragement, advice, or console her whenever she’s sad. Reassuring her that everything’s gonna be alright by those humble words could calm her for periods of time. You don’t have to be a sweet talker or a casanova- spitting out anything that pops into your mind will do. Just be honest and sincere when conveying those words.
Well, based on that explanations above, power of words are quite magnificent i shall say.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.*
This means giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean
being together all the time. What I mean is doing something, just the two of
you, like going out to eat, taking a stroll in a park, and looking at each
other while talking. Time is a strong communicator of love. One of the most
common is that of quality conversation – two individuals sharing their thoughts
and feelings. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to
understanding the other person’s desires. Try to treasure the time you spent
together.
‘Quality Time’, as we can see here, what matters the most is the
quality of the time you spent together. Is it really worth it, despite the
limited time you two have? I do personally feel, even though one couple have
all day long to spend with their love ons but the sparks aren’t there, the
moments just go like that and there’s nothing special and it’s repeated day by
day. Doesn’t it become mundane and boring? Then, how about, this 2nd case while
a couple doing something that they love, but they really treasure that moment,
even though the time spent is only 1 or 2 hours. You don’t have to try to
always be there for your spouse, remember the quality, not the quantity. Also,
sometimes absence makes the heart grows fonder ;)
Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of
gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you
speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are
cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift
to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be
disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures
Love is not about what others can give you because you’re empty,
it is about what you can give others because you’re already full. Gift can be
seen as a physical symbol of love. A gift is something you can see, hold in
your hand and say, “I cross his mind” or, “She’s thinking of me.” A gift is a symbol
of that thought. Gifts come in all sizes, colours and shapes. Some are
expensive and others are free. To the individual whose primary love language is
receiving gifts, the cost will matter little.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love?
Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on
an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want
to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more
work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.*
People who speak this love language seek to please their partners
by serving them; to express their love for them by doing things for them.
Actions such as cooking a meal, setting a table, washing the dishes, sorting
the bills, walking the dog or dealing with landlords are all acts of service.
They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a
positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love. I’m not saying become a
doormat to your partner and do these things out of guilt or resentment. No
person should ever be a doormat. Do these things as a lover.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary
language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the
back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they
can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence
and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and
destructive.*
Holding hands, kissing, hugging – all of these are lifelines for
the person for whom physical touch is the primary love language. With it, they
feel secure in their partner’s love. “Love touches” don’t take much time, but
they do require a little thought, especially if this isn’t your primary love
language or you didn’t grow up in a “touching” family. Sitting close to each
other as you watch TV requires no additional time, but communicates your love loudly.
Touching each other when you leave the house and when you return may involve
only a brief kiss, but speaks volumes.
Well, that’s all about the 5 language of love. If you wanna know
what your partner and your dominant love language is, click here to take the
test.
Mind telling me what is it? ;)
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